Tamara Jaber says her marriage to Kyle Sandilands was miserable. Picture: Ali Salehi Source: The Sunday Telegraph
Kyle Sandilands with then-girlfriend Tamara Jaber at their home in Sydney. Picture: Richard Dobson Source: The Sunday Telegraph
Is there life after being Kyle Sandilands' missus? The way Tamara Jaber tells it, absolutely.
When she was married to King Kyle, she claims he wouldn't let her use the home computer, he spoke for her and controlled her money. And, she says, she didn't have the balls to do anything about it.
But she's now had her Eat, Love, Pray moment - only instead of being holed up in an Indian ashram, she's found herself a quaint little apartment in Los Angeles. And she's finally happy.
Jaber, who turns 30 next month, is the one now wearing the crown.
Pictures: Tamara Jaber
Pictures: Kyle and Tamara
"When I was with Kyle, I was just an accessory to his world," says the LA-based singer, who married Sandilands on September 28, 2008 and officially separated from him on July 12, 2010. They are yet to divorce."I would sit on the sidelines and watch as he spoke for me. There was no way that he would allow my own personality to come through. My life was miserable then," she reflects.
Sandilands agrees, saying: "Tamara was miserable, but this was mainly because of the response to her solo music career. She takes things very personally but she really is very talented. I have heard that she is very happy now and that's good."
Nevertheless, Jaber insists she has seen the light.
She met Sandilands at the age of 19 when she was performing in pop group Scandal'us. Jaber had a lot of growing up to do and perhaps needed some nurturing. Even after they married, her mother, Janessa, came to live with them and a retinue of minders.
"I would sit on the sidelines and watch as he spoke for me. There was no way that he would allow my own personality to come through. My life was miserable then"
"My life is so not shiny anymore," Jaber says proudly. "In fact, when I look at how my life was then, I can scarcely believe I am the same person."
These days she says she supports herself by gigging at intimate venues and at corporate events.
"I have learnt how to budget," she brags, "and it is so rewarding to have my own money and spend it on whatever I like. My apartment is filled with the things I love and decorated the way I like."
The man credited with turning her life around is UK investment banker and semi-professional sports star Ken Aseme, 33. He's a man mountain at 191cm, who plays rugby union for Santa Monica.
"He is real and honest - that's a change for me," Jaber says. "What I love most about the relationship is that we're equals. Honesty and integrity are important to us. Because he is not in my industry, he is not surrounded by all that crap."
This theme of honesty in relationships is one that Jaber continually brings up during our interview over the phone from LA. It's as if she's channelling a self-help manual.
So was Sandilands dishonest, I ask, hoping for something salacious. Jaber responds: "King Kyle is surrounded by yes men, who tell him what he wants to hear.
"I wish they were yes men," countered Sandilands. "They spend so much time disagreeing with me but yes,�I� guess that I was over-protective of her."
Jaber claims Sandilands "robbed me of a sense of accomplishment".
"He wouldn't even let me use the computer because we had people around us to do that. I never had the balls to stand up for myself," she says.
"My existence is so much less shallow than it was before. I couldn't believe how much time I spent trying to keep�up appearances."
These days, Jaber says she is no longer focused on how she looks; it's all about her work.
All will be revealed when she returns to Australia in October for a music tour with her American band and she's keen to see how people respond to the new her.
It wouldn't be surprising if Sandilands is among her audience as he still seems to be in her corner. "She's a very honest girl and if she says these kinds of things, then she really believes them," he says.
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